...the enormous distance between near and here...

As usual, this blog has been coming for a while now...

Every life, especially human, has an objective, the sooner that objective reveals itself to the subject, the easier it is to get your act together in pursuit of the objective....! This is a rather strange phenomenon really when you think about it...How does the objective choose to reveal itself? And when does it do so?

The shortest distance between two planes/points is a straight line and even a micro millimeter deviation from the shortest path has the potential to lead you a completely undesired end goal....! This is common sense, this being said, doesn't the ALL knowing objective know this?!

Quoting Jabala Upanishad and as usual analyzing it perhaps more than necessary!

तवं वा अहम अस्मि भगवतो देवते।
अहम वा तवं अस्मि भगवतो देवते||

To realize "that art thou" is "near"
To realize "thou art that" is "here"

...the distance between near and here seems like an exhausting one to cover!! :-(

...the kind Indians!

I'm in India!! I'm in India for work!!! Its been a few years since that happened. I love being here. There is something fundamentally agreeable and compatible with India as is expected to be being my motherland....!

We (Indians) are by nature simple people! Politeness and kindness are deep rooted in our culture and nature. We are friendly people and often shy!! Too shy and polite to even refuse an unreasonable, impossible and often arrogant demand....

This blog has been coming for a week now. Thanks to my relentless travel and work schedule, it had to wait for a whole week!

The flight from Brussels to Bombay was 'bumpy' and I was more sleep deprived than usual this time around. As a consequence, I had a headache so severe, that it felt as though the back of my left eyeball was being pierced through with a large nail all the way from the left temple!! I wasn't a pretty sight!! :D :D :D

As soon as I boarded the flight to Madras, I requested the hostess to see if she could give me something that'll make the misery stop. That kind lady came down to my seat with a magic pill, some biscuits and some water!! After 15 minutes, when I was fast asleep, woke me up so gently like an affectionate mother would wake her sleep child and enquired about my pain while handing me my special veggie meal. I'd like to believe India is largely represented by kind human-beings like her as opposed to what today's main stream media in India would like us all to believe....

...India's problems with Pyjama Patriots!!

Dr. Swamy (a personal hero of mine) coined the term PTs (Patriotic Tweeples) - I think I qualify to be a PT....

Today, I realized, I was something more (or less actually) - I am a Pyjama Patriot!!

Yes....thats right!! PYJAMA PATRIOT! That guy who wakes up late on Sunday, spends a whole hour or two in bed lazing around while checking his facebook, twitter feeds, gets offended at anything anti-India, anti-hindu on the internet and launches a cerebral cyber counterattack with my heart-felt sincere opinions!

While, this is certainly an improvement from watching cartoons and stand-up comedy, is this really enough?? If it is, then why do I not feel good about myself?? Why is there un-treated guilt in my system??

I'll confess why - I DID NOT VOTE LAST TIME AROUND!!!!

Here is a promise to myself - I WILL VOTE IN 2014 and stop being a Pyjama Patriot!

...silent lucidity...

…often…

….the wisest word spoken is that unspoken one…

…the kindest consolation is that unheard one…

…the sanest action is that action not done….

अहं निर्विकल्पो निराकार रूपो, विभुत्वाच सर्वत्र सर्वेन्द्रियाणाम् । 

न चासङत नैव मुक्तिर्न मेयः, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ।।

ahaṃ nirvikalpo nirākāra rūpo

vibhutvāca sarvatra sarveṃdriyāṇaṃ

na cāsangata naiva muktir na meyaḥ

cidānandarūpaḥ śivo'ham śivo'ham

I am all pervasive. I am without any attributes, and without any form. I have neither attachment to the world, nor to liberation (mukti). I have no wishes for anything because I am everything, everywhere, every time, always in equilibrium. I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

Q & A - What is the need to exercise restraint?

KJA to Swamiji: A lot of restrictive customs and practices are there in our culture. Why should we follow them? What is their real benefit? Why were they put in place?

Swamiji's reply: First and foremost, we must remember the sole and only meaningful purpose and pursuit of this human birth is to understand our true nature. Your true nature will reveal itself when you do Sadhana. What is Sadhana? Anything that aids you in your spiritual path is Sadhana. Today, all our actions are controlled by the mind. We dance to its tunes. We are bound by our mind. Our mind prevents us from realizing our true self. Imagine, a rope is tied around a bunch of twigs. What is the easiest way to remove that rope and free those twigs? And imagine you do not know how to untie that knot on the rope. The easiest way to free those twigs without cutting the rope or...struggling to find ways to untie the knot...or forcibly pulling out each twig with the risk of breaking them....is simply by tying another rope around those twigs tighter than the original rope....! This second rope is yours...you know what knot you tied....and...once the twigs are free from the first rope...you can untie the knot on the second very easily...! This way there is no damage to the rope or the twigs...! Like wise, each and every seemingly restrictive custom or practice....in our traditions....provide immense aid to our spiritual progress. Every custom has some significant deeper spiritual purpose or the other!!

....Un-believable Karma!!!

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction - even an atheist who denies the existence of a Supernatural has to accept this. Only that atheist can perhaps explain his own hypocrisy or lack of acumen and hide behind his childish "but physics is real" :-)

Any event personal or worldly when examined in isolation more often than not does not make much sense...! Often seems "unjust" "incomprehensible" and "unfair"...

Our current physical, mental, socio-economic state today is a consequence of what we did yesterday and tomorrow is a consequence of what we did today!! And some extrapolation of this: my current life is a consequence of my deeds done in my past life...and my next life will be a consequence of my deeds done in this life...!

Most every materially "developed" country (read - good roads, needlessly tall buildings etc etc) today faces the problem of immigration, jobs being transported to "developing" countries. I think this "situation" when looked at in isolation and perhaps when seen from a normal everyday "I don't buy into Karma" eye may seem unfair and unjust...!!! Lets rewind clocks a little bit...none of these "developing" countries went around the world and indulged in forcible "wealth" accumulation and conquest!!! Et voila....Grand opening of Karmic Pandora's Box!!!

If only Mr. Christopher Columbus and Mr. Vasco Da Gama stayed put in their respective homes...been "content" with what there already was.....and perhaps closed their eyes and sat for an hour or two of meditation, contemplation everyday! ;-)

That being said now, Karma on a personal level:

If reaction life "X" = Combined Result of actions in "X-1"...and "X-1" being results of actions in "X-2" and "X-2" being results of actions in "X-3" and so on...

What about that FIRST life "X"....??! The Vedas, discard this question as "illogical" And obviously, how can such a "smart", "intelligent" & "scientific" question be discarded as  "illogical"?!

It makes as much sense as trying to ascertain the starting point of a complete circle and therefore "illogical" :-)

There seem to be two simultaneously "smart" "scientific" answers that my rather "non-scientific" mind can imagine:

- There is no starting point!!

- There are infinite starting points. It can be any and every point in the circle you lay your pen down on. They all have EQUAL claim of right to be its starting point!! 

And whats even more "scientifically" shocking is in a full circle, every start point is also an end point!!!  

And therefore, perhaps why the question itself was wisely discarded as "illogical"!! :-) 

…the one job that never got outsourced!!

stolen from the facebook profile of an employee in a call center handling MI6 hotline….

"…this is 007!! Get me Q…!!! this sonar belt is faulty…!! Get me Q now!!"

"…Sirrrr, before I can able to assist you, please could you kindly respond to a few questions please, please, could you able to provide your full name?"

"you idiot!!! who is this? what the hell is this?"

"…I can able to understand you are frustrated that I took 28 minutes and 43 seconds to answer call…kindly please note that we are presently facing high volumes as it is India-Pakistan cricket match on TV…and I am the wonly here to speak you…"

"name is Bond, James Bond…"

"…really sir? is it you James sir??"

"Yes"

"Mr. Bond sir, your call may be recorded for quality purpose and may be used to enhance my facebook profile…"

"whatever!"

"kindly, please state your present occupation, date of birth, postal address and mother's maiden name for verification purpose…"

"..@#%#^%#.." 

एकम् सत् | विप्राः बहुधा वदन्ति ||

Phonetically in English..."ekam sat | viprah bahutha vadanti ||"...

Few years ago, there was an elaborate discussion on a Sunday, Sundays used to be a weekly holy-day in Madras :) 

...and the topic was an in-depth analysis of this Maha Vakya! I went about exploring it recently...

The first part is atleast theoretically straight forward "the truth is singular"...the word singular or one doesn't do justice to the sanskrit word "ekam"...

...wait a minute...I believe it actually means "only Oneness is the Truth"...yeah, this 'feels' closer to what I believe I experienced recently....! 

or...."the only Truth is Oneness"....hmmmm 

:) :)

Actually, all of what I typed above feel like "ekam sat"...(atleast how I see it!) 

If me (only just a beginner) can contemplate and provide a few interpretations to this Maha Vakya. I can only imagine how many wonderful and meaningful interpretations "Viprah" - realized Saints provide about Oneness/Truth!!

and hence एकम् सत् | विप्राः बहुधा वदन्ति || 

...the fear of a blank planet!!

Yet another spark of pure inspiration whilst interacting with this youngster, I recently befriended. Youth!! What an amazing phase in life. Inspiration that sells at a premium around mid-30s is available in abundance and free "then"...! ;-)

Paul Brunton wrote "...we have yet to learn to be, for we have already learnt to do..."  This statement talks to me at a number of different levels. There's this obvious reference to the Indian Vedic "Tat Tvam Asi" (crudely translated to "Thou Art That") but along with that was he conveying something else I wonder?

Had we "learnt to do" the right thing, perhaps it wont have to be undone as he is suggesting. In fact, when I re-examine this statement from an 'outwardly' view...every man-made creation...seems to have the following characteristics:
1. Incomplete and evolving.
2. Is in pursuit of compliance with the ever-shifting socio-economic standard that requires some serious examination.
3. Hardly ever accounts for the unjustifiable damage to the environment that this dreamy experiment of an invention is carried out on.
4. Often an exaggerated solution to a really simple requirement.
5. Aimed at providing entertainment to the always-bored-pleasure-seeking-mind.

Obviously, technology, gadgets, hi-speed trains, aeroplanes are all things at the top of my mind when I write this. I mean, really, what is so horribly wrong with moving slower...??

Every single 'thing' used after its lifetime ends in some corner of the universe rendering that spot it occupies absolutely un-survivable for any specie of life.

Humans are the undisputed rulers of the planet and as spider-man says "with great power comes great responsibility" :)

There is this looming fear of a blank planet...for we have yet learn to be...for what have already learnt to do...

...that frustrating divide

That divide between your un-natural un-happy state and your happy-home state is a concocted total sum of frustrations between "what should be" "what could be"  and "what is"...

It is imperative to critically examine each individual contributing element to that concoction and identify: 

==> how much of each "should be" is simply a misplaced trust on an inane mercenary goal that is incapable of delivering what you truly seek

==> how much of each "could be" is really just a futile subscription to a socio-economic "ego-boost" standard that was never critically assessed as pertinent

==> how much of each "should be" and "could be" when honestly probed is only a pile of entertaining quick fix cement hastily thrown over that larger, deeper void in life that you are just too lazy to permanently repair

From experience, I humbly submit that this sum concocted frustrating divide is like an onion, waiting to be peeled away into absolute nothing, when examined critically and analytically. 

I got frossimmed!! and you??

yes, you heard me, there's no typo there...! Frossimmed! And I want to make it known to the world that I, Haritha Karthik Jagannathan Iyer, from Madras, invented this verb today!!
if someday, this gets added on to the official English, French, Flemish, German...dictionaries (yes, its truly global) I hope google will bring you to this very blog post as its origin! ;-)

Everybody gets frossimmed every single day of their lives. As in the past, I'm going to explain this using very simple analogies!

Remember that day in your life, You wanted two BIG scoops of ice-cream after dinner, your mom gave you a glass of milk! You got frossimmed...!!

You tell your dear friend who just attempted to change your schedule to fit his that its not OK, He says he understands and that its a fair observation and then you play squash, have a drink, some dinner..
And then two days later, he attempts to change your schedule again and successfully does!! You got frossimmed!!

You know what I mean? I know you think its similar to flim-flammed or low-jacked...and there is absolutely no need to INVENT a new verb...you know it actually is very different...!
When you get frossimmed, there is absolutely no negative intent, everything is very real and genuine and often kind and actually necessary for your own good. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET...!!
...so since you don't know it yet, frossimmed, can never be used in the present perfect or present continuous tense. It is always to be used in the past restrictive tense!! ;-)

So, you see, I dont think ANY word available today comes close to meaning frossimmed. (Wow, I just used frossimmed in present continous tense!!)

...profitable business proposition!

...expectations, everyone loves them, has them, can't do without them...! And not just humans when you think of it...! Its a thing of marvel really...how animals (pets) have them too...but theirs come from a more unconditional, selfless place and its genuine affection...

...when you have expectations, you unquestionably AGREE to that risk of them not being fulfilled...!
Don't like taking that risk called disappointment, STOP expecting...! Yes, it is that simple! Think long and hard before you next time....."I expect this..." "I want this..." "Can you do this..." "Will you...." "You disappointed....."

ING, Prudential, Aviva - here's a amazingly huge business oppurtunity!! Sell "Expectations Insurance" to help those who cant help themselves or know better than to keep on expecting...! :D :D

S.O.L.I.T.U.D.E

...Supremely Over-joyous Life-changing Illuminating Time Understanding (this) Delectable Existence!! 

It is definitely no surprise why India's most enlightened Swamis often confined themselves to SOLITUDE....! :) 

...this quest toward...

This quest toward this un-diminishable "eternally-happy" zone is inescapable, once realization, of this seemingly endless loops that becomes of life, dawns!!

Anything tangible that you strive to gain, possess, and eventually in the end, successfully achieve, is always subject to the economic law of marginal returns. Therefore, at the end, you realize the pursuit was often more pleasurable than the actual "find" or "gain" or "result" and that also perhaps explains why this search or pursuit almost immediately restarts as soon as there is a perceived marginal diminish in derived pleasure. At that point, the enormity of the pursuit itself seems so insignificant and the eventual ultimate dis-satisfaction is almost magically forgotten, ignored....

It wont take long to see the endless loop:
pursuit -> result -> dis-satisfaction -> pursuit again -> result -> dis-satisfaction -> pursuit -> 
...and the mystery magic begins to be less and less potent!!

The wise ones are woken up and commence wandering towards this 'zone' with no endless loops. At first, it almost seems imaginary and a make-believe-cynical "too good to be true"!! Soon, it turns into a semi-serious "what if"!! I believe the point at which you sincerely make this your true pursuit, ambition, goal - result wont be far and there wont be any need for another pursuit EVER again!! 

ॐ असतोमा सद्गमय ।
तमसोमा ज्योतिर्गमय ।
मृत्योर्मामृतं गमय ।।
ॐ शान्ति शान्ति शान्तिः ।। – बृहदारण्यक उपनिषद् 

...brilliantly intrusive sales...!

...from an online discount warehouse sales store:

email 1: random subject, no content, just sender but written in a way you can't miss who the email is from...

email 2: a rather humble apology note from them for first blank email with a discount for 5 bucks if you purchase something within the next 7 days! 

...it certainly put a smile on my face, despite the absolute horror of a week this has been!! 

:)

If by Rudyard Kipling

...I've always believed what you demand your universe ALWAYS supplies...!

...actually, it would be more appropriate to state what you "need" your universe delivers...I am in dire need of inspiration and my universe unequivocally delivered it to me....

Heres a poem from Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;

If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:.

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

the spectacle spectacle! :D

....kind lady at the spectacles store --> tries to clean my glasses --> breaks the frame!! 

....

....

....

I can't see now and I don't speak french...partially blind and dumb...I can finally use parking spots reserved for the disabled all over the city! *SWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT* 

....

....

....

please come with me out front to collect receipt for your repairs...

Me: I am so blind without glasses that I couldn't tell if that person walking into the store now is a lady or a bloke.....

Chap @store: No no...that has nothing to do with you being blind without your glasses...!! B-) B-)

Top 5...last names...!

Top 5 last names that I'm truly glad I dont have...! :)

5. Sidebottom
4. Fellacio
3. Ben Dova
2. Stroker
1. Tutu

you've got to love the 90's!!

...
...
...
K: Where the hell is he?
V: I dont know...call him
K: A**HOLE!! Hes late!!
V: CALL HIM!!!
CALL
K: You B*TCH! You are late...get here right now man!!
H's Dad: I think you are looking for H...hold please
Dad to H: Call for you and your friend just called me a b*tch!
...
...
...

...ce n'est pas crapola!!! :D

I tell you...the french are just plain lucky! And I think hatred toward them from the ROW stems mostly from petty jealousy rather than anything else...


When you say French...I go "fries"...I go "kiss"....and then I go..."the next slide please"!! :D


Fries: They are from Belgium!! The Belgians invented them!! And I shall forever be personally indebted to them for this truly noble invention!! 


Kiss: Well, OK!! I think what really happened there was....two loud people when requested to speak slowly moved towards each other and their mouths accidentally touched...


et voila!! embrasser à la française!!! 


Dont believe me...next time you hear the french language...try and focus on the way their mouths move when they speak.... 


I kid you not...or simply try and saying these things in front of your mirror and watch how your mouth moves....

l'addition s'il vous plaît...
une petite bière s'il vous plaît...
ont un cookie s'il vous plaît...
(...and finally....) Nous allons rectifier cela en débitant votre compte bancaire vers le 18/06/2012. (I swear I dont know how to "pronounce" this sentence...but I PRECISELY know how my mouth should move...though!!)

....testikills!

Ok...I think I can speak on behalf of most brothers here...that we do like to aim, target! Its always fun. I mean in an otherwise boring job like taking a leak...this aiming, shooting at a target, a spot in the urinal often gains significant importance..! :P

Every once in a while, you may find a little spider or a fly (...dead or alive...) and then you try and sorta get the fly to fly away...or give it a questionably honorable salt water burial...!! Whatever!! I mean...make most of the boring job...!! I think it is way more sensible than trying to send that URGENT text message or take that phone call that just can't wait for 30 seconds! See what I mean?

So today, once again, this country amazed me like most everyday with yet another intelligent innovation.  There I was getting the job done. I see a fly! And of course there was I trying to get it to fly away...! And then I realize that it is actually not a real fly but just a little design of a fly on the urinal itself....and on that exact target spot....that you actually sorta mentally try and target ALWAYS!!

How brilliant is that...a permanent target to shoot at...! The target, the intent to save a life, the realization, the adoration of the brilliance...the calmly smile at the end of it all! Bliss isn't it?? :D

past, present, future and wonderful tense...!!

Time, Tense (in tamil...kaalam) is permanent, real and sort of omnipresent..in its own right...! But, the fact that man can communicate/measure 'time' or 'tense' with use of events (sun rise to sun set = date, birth to death = lifetime etc etc) makes it comprehensible and therefore bringing it under the purview of senses!! Therefore, time, tense as spectacularly omnipresent as it may be...has to be transcended as well...!!

Top 5 conversation starters!! (that never work!!)

5. anglais s'il vous plait / engels alstublieft (will not make the mistake of giving two different ranks here!!!)

4. I'm just like the 1 billion other Indians. And yes, we dont win a lot of Olympic medals!! So, how about it??


3. Slum dog millionaire was based on my best friend's life! Wanna meet him??
3 a. I choreographed the dance at the end of the movie!!
3 b. You havent watched the movie. Wanna watch it??
3 c. I'm just kidding. Lets get some french fries!! (oooooopsssss!!)


2. Well....helllllllloooooooooooooo there!! :D

1. I wanna be your underwear!!!
1 a. Its really just a song...
1 b. Bryan Adams!! No kidding! Even I cant be making sh*t this up!!
1 c. We do a good cover of it! so, yeah..? what do you say??
WHAT DID I DO WRONG NOW!!!

kéké visits paris!! :D

Its been such a fantastic few weeks...beauty, kindness all around...

I've always wanted to visit Paris and no one could have planned it better for me...it was an impromptu "pack your bags dude!!" text from a dear dear friend and the tone was an emphatic "ofcourse!! I wont take no for an answer" -- so what choice did I really have but to have fun!

I am leading a rather envious life right now, even if I say so myself...there is abundance of kindness, niceness, beauty, warmth, lucidity!! For once, actually, I cant remember when this happened last, I am not craving solitude. I am not craving for 'me' time! It feels full, it feels perfect!

So, road trip to Paris! Beautiful beautiful city! Wonderful wonderful family with whom I felt comfortable with from the word go!! Saw all the touristy attractions...!!

There I was at the tower standing right in front of it...mouth wide open...going "how can man not really be god in his truest state...if he can build something like this!!" :D

Got my posterior seated in two super cars and taken for a spin!! All in all PERFECT weekend.

...celebrity friends!

I have friends/colleagues who look like....

1. Lawrence Fishburne
2. Matt Damon
3. Gabriela Sabatini
4. Brooke Shields
5. Renne Zellweger
6. Alan Rickman (a.k.a Hans Gruber)

Total freedom (revisited and corrected)

As rightly pointed out by a senior 'ponderer' known to me almost my whole life when we met in Dubai very recently! :)

You will be able to achieve complete freedom, only when you completely lose your ability to hurt anyone or anything (including yourself), willfully or unwittingly by your words/thoughts/actions!

Top 5 - losses!!

Top 5 losses, that almost seem like gains! :P

5. The will to let go! It simply makes practical sense to just give up...and save the effort...

4. Art of smooth talking "bull crap"...

3. Art of pretending to listen to #4...

2. My child-hood naiveté...!

1. HAIR...!! :D

...seemingly incurable ailment!!

Your emotional 'immune' system often becomes extremely vulnerable when touched by the insatiable curse of "there needs to be more"....!

Don't really comprehend at what point the "so far seemingly enough" transgresses into the infectious and often unreasonable "there must be more"....

...truly fascinating!!

....the lovely guilty

...in a life where most of our 'energies' are expended either on regret prevention  a.k.a "pre-action" worry or regret redemption a.k.a "post-action" guilt....where does love figure in it...

Love or rather "ideal" love should come from and remain in that purest, cleanest 'part' within you. And by definition, it is a place far from the reach of...guilt or...self doubt!!

I'd like to think or rather believe, it is a combination of respect, adoration and unconditional acceptance. All of this would perhaps result in placing that object/recipient of such love in a state where they become "you cant hurt me ever because I believe that 'skill' of yours is 'blunted' by my unrelenting fondness for you"

And in those very rare occasions that it becomes mutual between two individuals, those occasions are 'blessed' and the individuals themselves ought to be considered truly truly 'blessed'...

Of course, unconditional acceptance often in practice is simply "coined" unconditional after a thorough analysis and introspection to confirm without doubt whether all "unacceptable" conditions are indeed absent..! :)

...the problem with perception

The problem with perception is that it is greatly affected by the inherent inefficiency of the respective sense in question and therefore ultimately not reliable in its entirety!!

It is at that point and from then on, you rely only on intuition....

I've realized...

--> I can....therefore I must help!!

--> That its not the quantum but it is the willingness to share that matters.

--> Every tiny little drop of help helps those in need in more ways than you can imagine.

--> It truly is an emotion thats deeply spiritual and fulfilling.

Please feel free to join me / our team

http://www.kiva.org/team/mad_4_people
http://www.kiva.org/lender/kjagannathan

of cross-dressers and their daily predicaments...

Quote I read on a friend's facebook wall who took it from an "undisclosed" source --> "I stopped trying to be a man cause its such a waste of a woman" and I continue quote "now who cares who said this, this quote takes it all!"

Obvious questions --> What was "tried" and what was "wasted" and what/who is "all" and finally are we even sure this wasn't a cross dressing male/female who was very simply just having a hard time making his/her mind about what 'type' of clothes to wear that particular day?!

Conclusion --> That quote was vaguely brilliant yet brilliantly vague..!! So now I am having a hard time making up my mind to "like" it or not...

Some one PLEASE help....the cross dresser first...obviously thats a bigger crisis...!! :D

Glory...and what it is worth...

Emil Cioran's perhaps most thought provoking a.k.a the question that disturbed me the most is (or rather was...till few evenings back) - "Glory - once achieved what is it worth?"

We, human beings, whether we want to or not, need inspiration, aspiration, appreciation! Why we need those - that'll be a separate topic of discussion for a later point in time.

For ponderers - most times, our inspirations/aspirations directly or indirectly reflect those virtues, that people who matter most to us, wish for us to cultivate and live by. The end result of which, as distant as it may appear right now, is perceived as indescribable by mere words.

I would like to believe, what IT is worth therefore, is directly equal to the 'waste' of potential if not achieved/utilized. Only that Learned teacher would know this suffering. Only That devout student of his would truly understand the pain and see IT worthy of pursuit. Only They can explain what I have perhaps failed to explain here - what Glory is really worth.

Top 5 - Office LOLs! :D

5. Oh dear lord.....!!!.......Yes. How can I help you? (in unison...!)

4. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooo"......Bless you...and thank you for waking up our colleagues in China!!

3.  "moooooooooooooo" and thats your 'holy' cow!!.....Our cows are not like that...they dont mooo!!...And why not.....?!.....Thats why they are holy man!!

2. Does anyone want to step out for lunch?......Yes! But not with you!!

1. They are like us!....You mean incredibly good looking and talented...?!

...of lillies and their prickly demeanor! :P

Concert in Belgium: #2

Venue: Botanique, Brussels

Band: Lilly wood and the prick

One word summary: ENERGETIC

More:
....so out came Lilly on stage surrounded by her multi-talented pricks an hour later than the scheduled time but it suited us just fine as we were 'on time' after a rather ridiculous day @ work!

The music was high voltage, the sound was fantastic....their energetic presence on stage was simply uncontrollably contagious! Excellent songs! There were songs that sounded very "Oasis" with some amazing "Rush" like rather long instrumedlies in the middle of some of them.

One of the "pricks" even pulled out a flute in the middle of a song and that was particularly refreshing!! The drummer who appeared like a "leaner" Ben Affleck did an amazing job behind his kit. As always - most of my time was spent "looking" at the drummer!!

All in all an excellent concert...! I'd definitely go see little lilly and her rather talented boys again anytime!! :))

Rishikesh....

It is not very often in life you feel transformed into the best version of yourself....

And in my case...in the not-too-distant past...I questioned if I even had a better version of me...and I was extremely lucky to have met and known my Rishikesh Swamiji...! And I truly transformed in Rishikesh everytime...!

Today is the saddest day of my stupid meaningless trivial life....as I sit here and think of every act of kindness shown toward me from Rishikesh Swamiji...the first one of it being acknowledge my stupid arrogant existence as an act....and console me that I do have a better version....and that transformation is indeed possible and achievable....!! All I can do now is wail in the kind of pain I have never known...!!

Life truly does become irreparably sad and damaged knowing I dont have Swamiji to visit in Rishikesh anymore.....

As I read His life here -->  http://www.sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=1501&parent=1055&format=html

I cant but help cry uncontrollably for my loss.....!!!

2011 - Top 5 :O 's!

>>> Use the right term...its rhythmic, synchronized inflow and outflow of air!!
           - Wise man explaining snoring to frustrated wife!! :D

>>> So Pakistan is safe for no one now?!?!
           - Asked an "observer" on facebook after Laden was brought down!!

>>> Recent study shows lack of interest in marriage! Mostly amongst married people!!
           - Concluded David Letterman!!

>>> Intelligence believed Laden stayed at his compound in hiding for six years with all his wives and kids...or what some may say....prelude to hell...!!
            - Exclaimed a few happy bachelors!!

>>> Growing big is one thing.....but you know....my friend...staying big is another thing!!
            - as usual NO ONE knows what Sidhu meant!! :D

Attention to details...!

The way I see it....

It often tells you whether you are important or not in the scheme of things if ---

1. You are remembered to be invited to be a part of "the scheme"!
2. And then you wonder why! :)

But what leaves no doubt in your mind is when you are invited and you find out that every single 'quirkiness' of yours has been tended to in the scheme things. This past weekend was arguably one the best weekends in the recent past. I attended a Belgian wedding. I know both the bride and groom fairly well and for a reasonably long time!!

Firstly they remembered to seat me on a table where they knew my handicap of not speaking Flemish would be irrelevant!! And then they even cared enough to remember that I was a "non-mushroom" eating vegetarian!! So there was a separate list of dishes prepared specially for yours truly!! :)

My heart-felt thank you to both and obviously my wishes once again for a long happy life filled with marital bliss! 

......skin (s)creams!!!

today...time and again - it kept coming back to me that the bloke who "warm welcomed" me to this country wasn't joking when he asked me the question "...and you wanted to come back???"

if there is one cosmetic product that never was launched ever in Belgium...it has to be sun screen lotions!

cold creams are to South India what sun screen lotions are to Belgium!!

every once in a blue moon day like today...when two South Indians decide to kayak on a "bright" "hot" day in Belgium....there is a truly bizzarre exchange of words!!  "Do you have sun screen lotion on you?!?!" And of course that is perhaps the last thing anyone moving to Belgium expects to be needing here!!

We had to buy sun screen lotion from that ONE store in Belgium and surely enough...towards early evening we had to return the unused tube back!! :P

Ode to my solitude...

Very clichéd title...but I hope/believe the contents perhaps aren't!

you are my everything...
you are my friend...
for as long as you are here...
there truly is no dissonance I need fear...
you say the things nobody dares to say...
whilst keeping me company every night and day...
my dear solitude...leave me not till the end...
I wont let you go...
unless you wish me too...I fear...
like all things...I hold dear...
with the hope of  discovering....
a replacement...
as reliable...as permanent...as constant... as you are to me!
for as long as you are here...
there truly is no dissonance I need fear...

...breakfast banter!

Beautiful morning today! Perfect morning truth be told...there is that certain energy at home this morning...!!

Very often 'ponderers' like myself have the 'right' or 'wrong' debate! And mostly that debate sort of acts as a prequel to the 'done' or the 'not-done' deed...in the mind-movie!!

I mean we always do what we want..! So this debate is often just a meaningless autopsy of the dead done deed...followed by a 'fresher' list of even more meaningless resolutions that never will be followed through on...! :)

I think here is where the GREAT Swami Sivananda's quote has helped me -- "Be good. Do good" and in my rather humble opinion, especially, on this topic where I try to give my explanation to a great quote/instruction from the Great Swami, the brilliance lies in the bluntness of the quote.

It wasn't "Be right! and Do right!" It wasn't "Think good! and Feel good!"

Be good to yourself & others and Do good to yourself & others!! It can even be as simple as not hurting yourself and others intentionally!! If at all any resolution is to be taken and followed through on...this is the one!!

The perfect blend of self discipline and karma yoga!! Resulting in seeing yourself in others and others in yourself and ultimately being the ONE Self!!

Top 5 GPS moments!!

Well...here goes! The lovely GPS lady on the car!! Without her I would be at the coast everyday instead of the office...

5. Make a U turn if possible. Try again in 200 meters. Try harder!! AGAIN you jacka**!!

4. Stay on this road for a LOOONG time. But stay awake! Easier to drive with eyes open!!

3. Turn right and immediately turn left...! And then the fifth exit at the round about!!

2. Navigation system starting up...! Hitting the "NAV" button repeatedly may cause me to irritate you with confusing directions!!

1. The steering wheel is on the other side...please move away from the passenger's seat on to the driver's seat by opening the correct door if you are the one driving this car now...!!

of mountains and moles...

Every situation is only as complex and confusing as you want it to be!

Being a subject matter expert in making mountains out of moles...I can say this with a lot of confidence that most things fall in place naturally! Any struggle or forced action is often just the perfect ingredient required to make a mountain out of a mole! :)

a metronome called MANGINI...

Date: 31 July 2011
Location: Lokeren, Belgium

Time - 1900
State of mind - Pensive
State of leg - Sour (from all the walking, driving etc etc)
Music - Thin Lizzy (screaming out their 'unheard' hits from their glory days)
                              **************************
Time - 2000
State of mind - OHHHH...WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?! WHY AM I HERE?!
State of leg - Ready for amputation
Music - Channel Zero (more sreaming...people screaming...its getting cold...!!)
                              **************************
Time - 2200
State of mind - They better be good!! Enough is enough...whats taking so long?!?!
State of leg - 2nd wind!! Ready to rock!! :P
Music - Dream Theater featuring the human metronome "Mike Mangini"

Every stroke on the drum kit was PERFECT in size, smell, shape, color, density...! What a wonderful concert. Amazing!!   

warm welcome (?)

So........!! Am back in Belgium! But not before the last ounce of energy was totally sucked out by the driving licenses office in Madras!

Anyway...as the adage goes...all's well that ends well....! Indeed. No complaints...atleast not anymore!

I think this one's certainly begun on the right note...

So, you've come to live here...
Yes...
Do you know it gets really cold here??
I think I'll manage.
Are you sure?
Yes...I've been here before.
And you wanted to come back?!
Yes...I am a big fan of the chocolates...
And NOT the beer?!?!
Oh yes...the beer too!
Very well then. Nothing more. Welcome to Belgium!

Top 5 - trains are better than planes!

1. You'll never ever have to say the words - "I would wait if I could!!"

2. You'll never hear the words...."Walk down...take left and walk till the end of the world to gate 52..."

3. You'll never need to walk 200 kms to gate 52...half asleep!!

4. You'll never have to witness your "special" meal given away to someone else...

5. You'll never be felt up by strangers in public...without being properly remunerated...!! :P

The struggle within….

Why am I being put through this? What did I do to deserve this? How can this happen? Is this fair?

I don’t even know if I am worthy of this. I am sure I didn’t deserve this much. I am unworthy of this extraordinary kindness.

Despite appearing completely diametrically opposite in nature – it is my opinion that both these statements in fact exemplify the presence of a very very strong sense of ego within.

It is only but human to question and complain about the seemingly unfair and unjust. Its clear! Its natural! And needs no explaining! :)

But part 2 took a little bit of realization – it is your ego very very smartly concealed with a cloak of humility that causes you to exclaim and wonder if you are a worthy recipient of some kind gesture especially if you attribute it to coming down from Up Above. The “you know better” sense will be revealed with some introspection and analysis. It would be smart to not dwell on it too much and simply accept everything whole-heartedly with the belief, faith that everything happens not only for the right reasons but also with the right chosen players of the game!! There should be no doubt about that...

of men and their demeanor...

You are always presented with at least two choices every time...

1. Be normal = compassionate, sensitive, sensible etc
2. Be a jackass = ruthless, arrogant, prickly demeanor etc

How you choose to behave is directly representative of the amount of self-respect you possess!

of governments and government employees...

This past week I have been a regular at a number of government offices in Madras...I wont get into the details...not for any other reason but it simply is amazingly boring just to even begin typing what I've managed to get done here...!! No no...its all relevant to the scheme of things but just an endless list of "to-dos"!! B.O.R.I.N.G!

I think its fantastic that most every employee there knows all that rules and regulations like the back of their hands -> Well, knowing what to do usually means half the job done...right? WRONG! here knowing what to do means they are 100% committed to not doing their jobs and have actual rules to support that..!! :D

I mean a request as simple as expanding my intials was made to sound as if I was asking for a complete change in the customs rules for procuring weapons grade plutonium or something else equally abominable! Ofcourse -> the fault was all mine -> I didnt "route" the request through the "proper" channel with a few hundred rupees additional special service levy!! :)

of customers and customer service...

Well...sure when you pay for a product/service...you obviously deserve delivery of that product/service within the committed/agreed time frame...

It is extremely important to realize that everyone is always attempting to deliver their end of the bargain...I mean the day all of us stop believing in that there would be a total global spiritual meltdown!

What would be left after establishing such total 'dis-belief' or 'mistrust' would be just endless negotiations...and non-performance penalty clauses...and subsequently no delivery...!!

But I think it is extremely important to still treat everyone with respect and not believe you have reasons to take away anyone's respect just because you went to him and not his competition...

I can tell you nearly all of us would agree that only the product/service was offered as part of the sale package and not the individual's respect!

This entry in here comes after being witness to some absolutely ludicrous behavior from a particularly well educated gentleman while this friend of mine was having lunch with me on a Sunday afternoon!! It is unfortunate that some of us still believe for a few hundred rupees we have the right to take away someone's time and respect anytime of the day/week/month/year!!

Changing times...

First things first - the Pune era is coming to an end.

Last 48 hours or so here...good city...wide roads...reasonable people...plenty of good restaurants...and...and...and...I know this is never ever going to happen again in my working life -> work was exactly 6 minutes away from home! :)

But heres something really interesting - the internet and phone was down for the last three or four days and honestly I couldn't care less. Parents were extremely angry about it and I am going "good lord...whats happening here?!?!" I am extremely happy about the fact that both of them are net savvy, it is a relief actually especially when you are constantly travelling and there are times when internet is more 'available' than a public phone...but I think being upset about not being able to logon to facebook is a little amusing if not worrying...

E.M. Cioran

I like reading a lot...(but I love doing nothing...!)

In fact, this past extended weekend was a true testimony to that...two of three days were spent without even opening the door of the house and the day in between I was literally forced out for something which I couldn't squirm out of as much as I wanted to.

I was introduced to Emil Cioran's world of rather brilliant nihilism a couple of years back by a person who I am particularly fond of despite rarely being in touch with each other! :)

Cioran's nihilism (and dare I say this in public domain) is more sensational than what Buddha really propounded...and makes for very thought provoking reading (whatever little there is available to read on the world wide web)

Some of the most effective thought provoking bits are -
- Glory - once achieved, what is it worth?
- A sudden silence in the middle of a conversation suddenly brings us back to essentials: it reveals how dearly we must pay for the invention of speech
- Ambition is a drug that makes its addicts potential madmen
- Anyone can escape into sleep, we are all geniuses when we dream, the butcher's the poet's equal there
- By all evidence we are in the world to do nothing.

End of the day, I dont claim to understand the exact place where this man is coming from - but I surely can comprehend some of his rather sensational "so whats" and would dearly love to get my hands on some of his full blown books!

Indo-Pak cricket a.k.a Misbah Mania!!

India vs Pakistan = Misbah vs Nehra!

Misbah's commendable preparation - sought batting tips from Indian batting maestro Ravi Shastri...!!

Nehra betrays his team midway thru the match...unfortunately Misbah saw the betrayal too late!

Gul refuses last ball single to keep Misbah on strike! :D

Singh to Gilani in reference to Misbah -> There is a good samaritan. He is the ideal role model!

Tendulkar awarded with the man of the match as a token advance for batting performance in the finals...!!

Misbah R. Shastri scr*wed over yet again! Afridi says sorry to his nation...and feels sorry for Misbah!

Misbah's cause seen worthy of a nobel prize for peace...! First time ever, an entire nation recommends it as well unanimously...!! The neighboring nation...that is..!! 

dumb conversation...!

hey!
hello!

How are you?
Ok.
Ok. Great. Lets start right away.

Describe yourself in one word.
Dumb

Describe yourself in two words.
Extremely dumb

Describe yourself in three words.
I am dumb

Describe yourself in four words.
I am extremely dumb

Can you guess the next question?
Describe yourself in five words?

No six words!! ohhhh...you just missed it by a whisker...!
I am dumber than you think

AWESOME! Well done!

Manufacturer monograms nicked...

Well...I was extremely upset when my month old car...was scratched...(presumably by kids!) and it appeared as if someone was using the right door of my car to practice alphabets!! (I could make out "A" and "Z") - in fact I felt very let down and angry that someone could be so sadistic and scratch a car for the sake of amusement!!

These days - most every car in Pune is seen without its manufacturer's monogram both under the front hood and the boot...!! Well, most every 'foreign' brand car!! CRUEL CRUEL CRUEL...!!

(Un)Healthy optimism...

The best part (if any) about coming down with a severe cold and sour throat is that at some level atleast you start to think that you sound like Morgan Freeman!! That may very well be the medication induced hallucinations - but who cares!! :P

Thank you...!!

Today is just one of those days or rather this whole week has been one of those weeks when everything has just been right...!! Picture perfect is more like it...

I am a lucky chap in life...and I want to wholeheartedly thank everyone for making me feel this way this week...this includes friends physically around...and friends who are far but in spirit always around close!!

Cheers guys...you know who you are!! :)

my skill set...

I am a borderline burn out with less than desirable social skills but what really is my biggest asset is my ability to very very quickly extinguish that seed of ambition that surfaces every once in a while, unprovoked, before it transforms itself into a serious goal!! :P - KJA

2010 - Top 5!!

This is me doing a semi-David Letterman here! Or as always attempting...!! :)

#5 - Sir, the senior citizens table is at the end of the hall...("not funny" waitress)

#4 - But seriously sir, how can we help you? (barber...)

#3 - Dude...tummy tuck PLEASE! (friend who very kindly took a few pics of me recently)

#2 - Mr. Karthik - you really have a lovely handwriting....but....(sales guy at wembley drum center...)

#1 - Sir, would you please inhale deeper so I can get the tray out...deeper...deeper...deeper...(airhostess...)

2010 - The End...!

I still remember how enthusiastically I embraced 2010...well...here I am...a few days before the end of 2010 and trying to see if anything really changed...

Besides - few negligible improvements, the year over all has been pretty much slow and low in all respects...2011 isn't expected to be any different...

Normally, no year is different from any other...its all the hype and hope about future in general and the mysticity (new word...HAHA) around the unpredictability of the future that makes us believe that there is always this huge change just around the corner...!! But truth be told...mostly that change is not even remotely visible...leave alone achievable...only you keep looking for it or chasing it...

I for once am learning to not just accept but even appreciate the great 'constant' that is my life...and love the part that there is hardly any surprises or shocks around it...and hope it stays that way...for as long as I have to deal with it

Heres to my docile life and to a very predictable and stable 2011...

Haggling

haggling when your product is relatively out of date and off market...

may may...just MAY very closely resemble something else! :)

YOU GOT TO BE NICE TO US...DONT YOU KNOW US...WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Be nice to us...

Be nice to us please...

Why cant you be nice...?? Try it...dont be afraid...its not as complicated as you perceive it to be...

I am going to have to stop talking to you...!

Ok...I was just kidding...but what is the problem here??

I am involving my brother now! He is going to beat some sense into you! (*LOL*)

Come on...its nice to be nice...to everyone!! Ok?

Animal cruelty is all wrong! You dont pelt stones at dogs do you?? Why discriminate now?!

poor mothers! you got to love them...

Mothers dont give up...they dont EVER give up!

here goes...

Astrologer -> the best period in your son's life is now...

Ma -> Really? Great! (Extra special 'thank you' prayers from today...)

Ma to KJA -> The best time for everything is now. Everything is great. 

KJA to Ma -> I burnt the dinner last night...had to eat out...when are you coming back...

Ma -> Are you even listening to me?! We re-re-visited your horoscope. You are going to become a human soon...the time has come

KJA -> Splendid. What else?

Ma -> You are midas now according to him

KJA -> Ok. Its that time of the year to show investment proofs etc. I have a bunch of used boarding passes as my 'investments' for the year. This special power will really come in handy!!

Ma -> He is wrong. I give up. What bad luck...I should have stayed single...

....

....

....

KJA -> so whats for breakfast in Madras...?

....

....

....

Saree Jahan See Acchaa!

Most of us (...including yours truly) at some point in time or the other have felt bad or disappointed about having to deal with a lot of "unacceptables" in this truly lovely country that I am super proud to call my home...

Tonight...was special...something truly special...my unit had an official gathering at a cozy little place near my residence...(super thanks to all who chose that place...the sheer relief that you feel past mid night knowing that you are home in about 5 mins is really hard to describe in words really)...towards the end of the night...I had this truly inspirational exchange of thoughts with this new found work friend...talking about history...culture...heritage...and mostly how India is more "human" in every sense and tone of that word...than the rest of the world...

HUM --> we/ours....

MAN --> mind....

HUMAN --> oneness in thought...! :)

JAI HIND

all about the hunger!

Airports...airports seem to bring out the best in everyone!! here goes...

few weeks back...am waiting behind a fellow flyer at the boarding gate...this was an early morning flight...visibly the bloke was little restless...he walks to the airport staff...displays his boarding card...and as he walks past this lady...."andhar khana milega na??" - "food is served inside right??"

This lady was stunned...and politely said..."yes"!

...I was behind this dude...and I couldn't help but smile at her..."I wouldn't dare ask that question in that tone to even my mom or my wife..."

....a giggly....."Enjoy your flight sir"

..."Yes. I will. Thank you. You have a good day"

baggage bliss!

I am sure most working professionals returning "home" for a break from work will be able to relate to this feeling of relief (no need to cook and clean for a few days), mild thrill (perhaps the recently launched F1 2010 game on the PS3 waiting for you as a surprise), guilt (coming home empty handed as you have just finished the box of cookies all by yourself)...etc etc...

But this isn't about all that - obviously everyone is attached to their luggage! No matter whats inside - you are attached to your bags, suitcases! There is no denying that! AND they are attached to you as well (YES YES YES!!)

How else would you explain the 4 somersaults that they perform on their way to reaching you on the baggage belt at the Madras airport!! They know you are too old and physically unfit, so they take over and exhibit that unmanageable bliss that you really feel inside every time you land home at the Madras airport!!

total freedom

Everyone wants to be free... most seem to stop at the "freedom to do whatever I wanna do, whenever I wanna do" phase. Recently, I took it to a slightly different dimension...

You will be able to achieve a sense of complete freedom, unless you kill your conscience somehow, only when you completely lose your ability to hurt anyone or anything (including yourself) willfully or unwittingly by your words/thoughts/actions!

In reality, I think if this has to be achieved, one must welcome the state of "total social insignificance"! :)

On a lighter note - wearing a cloak of invisibility is surely not a bad way to start...

pluuu plaaahhh!

Today was a live dose of the famed blondness or blonditude!

At the airport, while waiting in the long winding queue there was a temporary cut in the power supply and within moments it was restored using the back up!

There was a blonde woman waiting in the queue as well....making conversation with some people around her...just 'socializing'...you know! As soon as this power supply thing happened - her expression turned a little concerned and she asked "what if the same thing happens inside the aircraft?"

For a moment there - I froze and then the "oh she's blonde" calmness fell over me and I walked in for the free "feel me up" session with the security personnel!!

Belief

In the most unlikely of times - I realized this simple truth!

Perhaps the most of important things I have accidentally stumbled upon and obviously therefore, too important not to record in here.

It is always less stressful and relatively painless to believe the bad stuff. Its the truth and am mostly convinced of this.What took a little while to figure out was the reason as to why it is a lot easier to believe in the bad stuff.

Here goes - the amount of scrutiny and acid tests a good deed or thought is put through before finally it is 'accepted' to be good (by yourself...leave alone anything or anyone external) simply drains a lot of emotions and energy from you. On the other hand, to believe in bad stuff actually takes one simple global acceptance of the evilness that is visible and the minute you have made your peace with the existence of the evilness - the belief in bad stuff is almost effortless and instant.

Its sad but boy I would love to prove myself wrong about this little discovery!

PUNE paradiso!

Cant seem to remember for the first time what I wrote last on this blog! And of course when I scrolled back I had a smile on my face...! (whether this 'activity' keeps anyone else entertained I think these entries will put a smile on my face whenever I read them!) *LOL*

Alright - now I have been in Pune since early March! After the initial hiccups of commute and 'directionlessness'...I must confess living here has been an immensely fulfilling experience so far...

As resolved and predicted at the beginning of this year - so far this year has been all positive with absolutely nothing to complain about!

Bro lands himself with a peach job in his chosen career path which amongst other things mostly takes all the stress marks away from the faces of parents! and needless to say anything that can take those marks away has to be recognized as truly extra-ordinary! Wonder when I will find my own version of those mark removers for them! :)

Yours truly has been playing the drums for about three months now...and is 'fairly' OK on the kit.

The house is all set up and is very livable!

Last week was an extra special fun picnic to a place about 50 Ks from Pune and it truly was a fun trip and hopefully many more will follow in the coming weekends.

Will this post put a smile when I forget the next time what I wrote last??...I think it will...! :)

Lunch time humor!

Obviously this incident was too good not to record it in here! :)

At the lunch queue with an old friend / colleague and this question from yours truly....

"Is this dal or sambar?"

The AMAZING prompt response - "What is placed after the rice should be mixed with the rice and eaten!!"

And ofcourse the clear unmouthed words were - "Get on with it and stop wasting my energy!"

*LOL*

confusion...

Normally - at this hour (half past four in the morning) -> before I leave to the airport -> I am given a nice cup of tea...a warm hug and a kiss on the forehead by the people who matter the most in my life!

Today here I am scribbling on my blog missing those people immensely -> there are some conflicting emotions really -> does anyone ever convey the 100% truth when they say care or the likes? I surely don't think I even know what that phrase means...until last evening I thought I knew how to care...!

Going forward -> I want to be extra careful before I convince myself I care about anything -> Real care should never succumb to tantalization...at least thats my take on it! If it does..then it isn't real care!

Of course on the lighter side -> the profundity of the remark "who cares!" puts a smile on my sleepless face...! :)

persistent determination!

Ahhhh...I told you so...didn't I?

Yes. You did. I thanked you then for the unsolicited pearls of wisdom**...didn't I?

Yes...you are welcome again...but it would have saved you all the trouble had you listened to me

No no...how could I ever pass the oppurtunity to hear you say the words - "Ahhh see...I told you so...didn't I"

So this is going to happen again?

I think so...wise one!!

** Guess compelled by matchless arrogance and disdain

Insurance tip...

If you decide to die or know that its going to happen fairly quickly (you see some blue prints of the plan laid out lying at home) -> meet with an accident first!! -> would prove immensely rewarding...

...now whether this "accident" takes place under the influence of alchohol or not depends on how well you are treated at home!! LOL

ode to her mind...

how is it possible I wonder...
and endlessly I ponder...
about your ability to multi-task...
a question that I dare explicity ask...
oh (good) smelly T...your mind is a thing of beauty...
amongst all parental duty...
you say with overwhelming exuberance "black woman is with someone!"
while all wanted to do most...was to end the fight...
that it really was to get through that tiring night...
these lines above are for my dear friend...
who I hope will keep me entertained till the end...

despair

I cannot stand anyone around me in a state of despair. I am very possessive about that state! :) - KJA

macro (mental) economics...

For very long - I never truly understood why the human mind was always absolutely crucified, condemned and described as the root cause of all human suffering by philosophers...spiritualists...Indian Gurus! (using in their own unique phonetics and dialects)

a sort of break through few weeks back...

preferences seem to be the problem...while 'desire' as a whole would be great to get rid of...that act may never be possible without the total disassociation with the mind itself...however...preferences (the lesser evil if I may...) is feigned intelligence that differentiates and ranks (based on attributes) what is more desirable to own/consume/use and what is not...

if preferences were to be eradicated (theoretically speaking) or to begin with minimized -> the choices supplied to quench the new "preference-free" demands become infinite eventually -> in other words - the demand and supply become attribute free eventually -> and thereby ceasing to become as complex and as Godly an issue as being completely desireless!

mirthful me...

"What good is the sense of humor if it aint supplemented with the acumen to comprehend the reason for the laughter!" :)  - KJA 

ah...the best mobile handset in the whole world...

samsung corby truly transforms lives of women!

1. SOS messaging (hit the volume button 4 times and 4 text messages sent to 4 specified phone book contacts)

Now - women never need this feature as most of the SOS scenarios in their lives are imaginary and at times around which pair of shoes to wear! Having said that - it is a total selling point while marketing it to women as it is devoid of any practical use (like a coffee maker or kitchen knife)

2. Fake self calls

Normally - how difficult is it really for a girl to excuse herself from a situation? I dont know - a simple "I got to go" would work rather well. But yes - who can comment on their overwhelming need to be polite sometimes

3. Yellow and Pink and all the other wonderful colors

oh Dear Lord - please let me be a girl in my next life so I can use this phone! :)

ain't so ba(l)d after all

when something gets the undivided attention of kids...and provides the much needed time to their exhausted  mothers so they can 'breathe'...that object must be appreciated by someone!

1. Super Sid - Rather stressed out week. Million dollar smile and such an affectionate tap/stroke on the bald shiny head almost 'talking' through his touch telling me - "Its Ok. Its alright. You will come out of this" and always those were the ONLY words that you needed to hear to snap out of whatever it is you need to and want to snap out of.


2. Pretty P -  After the intial warming up and the 'hatred' mostly brewed by my doing stuff that she clearly didnt want me to do (like be at her house!) - she tapped my shiny scalp and found extreme thrill using it as a make-shift bongo :)

Now thats hardwork!

This past Saturday I took the evening train from Bangalore to Madras (was in Bangalore to close a few pending things relating to bank etc) - I made conversation with this rather courteous attendant in the train. He stood by the door and waved his hand to three people from the train as it went past a small town about two hours from Bangalore. I naturally got curious and enquired who they were. Mother, Father and a friend was the reply.

This bloke spends 6 days of the week attending to passengers on this train from 0600 to 2130 everyday and goes home every tuesdays which is this particular train's declared "no service" day!

Boy am I glad my latest 'wave' has lasted for about three weeks including some super fun lunch/dinner meetings with family and friends...

Game Set and Match Agassi

I love watching and following tennis. Most of my high school years and a little after that as well - I immensely enjoyed the many many Agassi - Sampras matches on TV.

Both these geniuses have written books and as a gift for my brother (who is a sportsman himself) I had ordered their autobiographies online and had them delivered home. I finished Sampras' last week. Well - Agassi's was being read by my brother and wasnt available for my reading.

Honestly - I think it was rather boring. It didnt have any life. I didnt like the tone of the book. I am an intense reader and remember a lot of phrases/lines from most the books I have read and especially the ones I have enjoyed reading immensely (I almost know my bible -  "Everything and a Kite" inside out)

Just started reading Agassi's - the book for lack of a better adjective is simply "unputdownable"! I love the way he described his match against Marcos in the US open - "Vow...he has a lot of hair...........................for a moment I feel jealous. I miss my hair"

I hear you Andre...and know exactly what you mean!! :)

I recommend reading his book to everyone who has admired him/his tennis or even anyone who hates his/her job even though they are very good at it...

Love...Hate

As simple as it may sound - it is my opinion that the world loves you when you love yourself and similarly hates you when you hate yourself.

Of course there is always this set of people in life who you love no matter what and who love you no matter what...

On that note - this is me signing off from Belgium/Europe for the moment and returning to home beautiful home...

Yes...I'm coming home...to "that" set of people in my life who mean the world to me...

intelligence

"All my intelligence is smartly concealed by my goofiness. Ironically that bit is not intentional" - KJA 29/01/2010

acquired feelings...

"Any 'non-hate' feeling toward me is an acquired one - my family and friends are still slowly acquiring them after 30 years!" - KJA 19 Jan 2010

:) :) :)

Cleaning up!

One of the things that I did not do for sure in 2009 was tidy up - take out the accumulated trash!

The past two weeks of this new year have been rather well spent - there is this new energy and unlike in the past this time it seems to be coming from a rather positive place within and not from the usual all so familiar place of disgust and a sense of wanting to break free from the madness that it really was!

A lot of excess dead weight has been removed and there is a lot of relief is knowing that it was only a false sense of guilt or obligation that had stopped me earlier.

The long sleepless nights continue to prevail but these ones seem to be for some meaningful pursuit like the Sega pro tour world #1 on the PS3 Tennis!! - no no no - like for working on the Harvard course which was so conveniently set aside as there was no real pressure to work hard at it.

There is this great hope and self belief largely due to this wonderful start to the year 2010.

my 'blonde' moment!

Day before I stood outside my door cursing my ill luck about the door being completely jammed and being stranded outside!

Called the landlord and sought help...and her prompt justified question was "Are you sure its the right key?"

Well...ofcourse it was the right key! She said she would come have a look and well she did...only to tell me I was standing outside the wrong door!

A flat on each of the three floors - you generally don't think floor 2 is floor 3!!

That was 15 minutes of time well spent...

:)

predicament...contd

To all my patrons who have almost successfully eradicated insomnia from your lives without using potentially harmful pills - thank you for the continued patience and support...

When I said "to be continued" in February I meant it. That predicament as it turns out is just a harmless practical joke from an old friend.

Well...sure...of course the credit to these two rather potent insomnia curing entries on this blog goes to that master piece of a practical joke!

:)

zzzzzzzzz

Cheers everyone!

friends...

My list of good friends has never been in the double digits all my life! Last evening was dinner with one from that list...perhaps the most special of them all...

The venue was some place we have always been to...the food was something we have always had at that venue...most of the conversation wasnt too different either...but...it just felt real good knowing my comradeship with this person hasnt changed one bit over the past years (nearly 15) and still manage to share some laughs every (rare) occasion that we do meet!

All the very best to you my dear friend! I know you are mean but mostly you mean well...

home (and away from home!)

you dont know what you got till its gone! definitely clichéd...but trust me its very apt in my case...there have been times in my life when I would do absolutely everything possible to get out of the house...in the past few years I could actually count the number of times I have eaten at home or had a nice little afternoon nap at home!

This past week or so has been rather special...my birthday was spent at home (turned freakin' 30 this year!) and I am home for my parents anniversary which I have been missing consistently for the past few years as well...and it is time to leave home already again! Am not sure when I would get my next week at home...but I intend to make full use of it whenever it is!

deserve

In the recent past I have often asked myself this question "what did I do to deserve this?" or other variants of this like "why didn't I get it - I did everything I could have"

I guess when you sit back and give it some serious thought - more often than not there would have been something more that could have been done or simply that I didn't even want it that bad in the first place.

But what do you tell a loved one who has just invested one full year in something that he truly believed in and absolutely DID everything in his power yet did not make it? That it was not meant to be?! I just hope to know the answer to this question before I see him in less than a week's time or take the easier way out and pray he feels less miserable when I do see him.

Diwali

Festivals are rather cruel times to be by yourself...but last evening turned out to be rather nice...I was with friends for dinner. Dinner that was made by yours truly. I have taken cooking rather seriously and actually enjoying every bit of it.

It would be safe to say that the "Make something edible and feel lucky if it does not taste horrible" phase of my life is well and truly over. The last three attempts at putting together a decent Indian meal have turned out really well in the past two months here at Belgium.

I take particular pride in the phulkas which turn out extremely soft and which balloon just like in the wheat flour ad on TV (cant remember which one!)

This has been the highlight of this trip away from home. It is rather ironic that all this was never attempted seriously while in Bangalore where it was lot more easier to find the ingredients required.

Rock Climbing!

It took an aussie to let me know that there are some fun things to do in and around Bangalore! One such thing that I did attempt to do was boulder climbing at a place called hoskote...but honestly the real reason why I did attempt this one was the drive all the way to hoskote in my car...had never taken it for a long drive...

As it turned out...the drive was fantastic...and so was the climbing...whatever I watched the others do! A lot of things in life look rather simple and easy...this one surely belongs to that list...anyway...whenever I get back to Bangalore...this is surely on the to-do list...! Hopefully I shall be a better climber whenever I do get back...

the male ego & the female valentino rossi fans!

alright...this one has been long overdue...nearly 45 days...ever since I started driving full time in the beautiful city of bangalore...

the men on the road seem to demonstrate extremely creative ways of letting fellow users of the road know that....they not only own their vehicle but also the road itself...by being totally ruthless...

on the other hand...the women just keep trying their best to practice their salsa lessons while riding their bikes...all in all top notch entertainment for the full 50 minutes that it takes to reach the work location from home!

things to learn...(or rather not...)

1. compliment with caveats...
2. conditional acceptance...
3. abilty to read minds...
4. abilty to completely ignore the relevant...

oh yes! I definitely am starting to feel wonderful about myself...

tears! (correction)

friend 2 - pain + disappointment + anger (back in country + believes PS3 should have been lent to him/her)

:)

tears!

people cry for a lot of reasons - joy, pain, guilt, loss....

some people around me cried for the following reasons in the recent past -

ma - joy

pa - mostly joy (on learning that PS3 plays blue ray disks)

brother - loss of shelf space

friend 1 - joy (cos I bought the PS3)

friend 1 - more joy (cos I left it at his place...)

friend 2 - pain (cos I am back in the country)

land lord - pain (cos now I am paying rent for actually living there...additonal water consumption)

ex-boss - relief 

new boss - pain + anxiety

team mate 1 - joy (PS3 plays blue ray disks)

old friend 1 - joy (tired of PS2)

team mate 2 - mostly joy (I let him borrow my DVDs)

alright...later!

a critical analysis...

well...it is my opinion that the need/reason to change or improve something that already does the job is very simple...

MAKE THINGS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR YOURSELF!!

lets analyse this for just a moment...one of the reasons for making the play station 3 is that play station 2 was not a reason good enough for guys to get out of the following -

1. mow the lawn

2. take out the trash

3. change nappies on the new born

4. pay the bills

alright you know what I am talking about!

Now, with the play station 3, men all over the world can breathe easy about trying to come out with believable lies for excuses to their better halves!

"Sweetheart! can you find a full time job as I want to add four more trophies to my NFS collection?"

"Oh...sorry I am playing GTA now...can you please take out the trash today?" 

and the lady WILL understand whole heartedly and go "Oh sorry, I forgot you exchanged the old PS2 for the PS3...what is your new record for the day? "

ofcorse when you have the PS3 hooked up to a 53" flat screen with a yamaha home theater system...your actions are fully understood and may be even condoned like say for example...you forget to call the fire men when the kitchen is on fire or you forget to breathe and may be even die!!

is it time to run??

well...when you travel to work everyday on the same train...have coffee from the same place...that I guess means you are starting to get into a very very comfortable routine!

As with most 'routine' activities, you are going to be seeing other people whose comfortable routine  matches your own. Ofcorse, I see a lot of same faces everywhere everyday. There is this unspoken acknowledgement of the other person's presence. It is sometimes a little nod of the head or a raise of the eyebrows or rarely a little smile!

Few days back, I saw one such comfortable routine road/train person. Both of us were late for our train by a few minutes than our usual time. This person started to walk faster and faster. I followed at the same increasing pace. All of sudden the walk turned into a run. We were almost moving beside each other and clearly I believed there was no need to run as we were going to make it to our train on time. So, well I do not know why I asked but I did..."is it time to run??" 

We were both laughing after I asked this question.

"Well...dont you think its time to run?" 

"No, we will be alright. Its always late by a minute anyway"

"Yes. Ofcorse"

"Have a great day"

"Thank you. You too have a wonderful day"

Well, I do not have the slightest of clues where this person is from, work place, nothing...I know this person as 'Flemington to Townhall - 0735 AM' and we greet each other every morning!

predicament..

when you really really want something 'great' but deep down you know that you dont deserve something that great...there is very little to do other than feel a little sad and indulge in a little bit of 'Oh what if...' and playfully entertain yourself...
:(
and then quickly try to snap out of it and make the full use of the offer available to watch movies at half price!

...to be continued

Melbourne...

well...I am at melbourne for this extended weekend...for two reasons...meet this sister of mine and her husband and hopefully watch a game of tennis with federer playing at rod laver!!

the first thing has happened...and am extremely happy about that...and about the second...it knew from the beginning that it was a game of chance...NO NO I am not referring to federer being in the fourth round...but me getting the tickets for the session that he was going to play was!!

anyway...well...I managed to get a t-shirt which has 'belgrade' written in serbian from a friend/colleague at work and as luck would have it...djokovic is playing tonite's session at rod laver for which I have the ticket!!

how I got this t-shirt from him defnitely calls for another entry in this stupid blog of mine which noone reads!! :)