an inquiry into when opposites meet and where and how

When "doing" something as natural and as intuitive as being yourself is some what of a "hindrance" to the discovery of your true Self - Atma - Brahman, there is a pressing need to explore what is the search, what is the object of the search and what are the tools employed for the search and ultimately why the search is unsuccessful.

There is an underlying presumption that there is an "object" to be seen, touched, understood, there is a "subject" who is the doer of this so called "action" and there is the "event" or verb or action itself. 

Every "understanding" seems to occur only with the help of  a "pointing" by the subject toward the object. Mathematically speaking, every counting starts with the numeric 1. 

I am starting to fear that this so called "pointing" and understanding (whose numeric equivalent is 1  and whose abstract "name" equivalent is "X" for the purpose of this blog) is fundamentally flawed. 

And here's why I think it is flawed -  Just like how 1+1 becomes 2 and 2+1 becomes 3 or 3+1 becomes 4 and so on. And in abstract terms, "X" that is being pointed at is different from another "Y" which is different from yet another "Z" and so on. This pointing has no end. This understanding has no end. And what is infinitely worse seems futile.

So, the question is when do I realize there is no difference between a "1" and a "2" - when I realize the need/desire/urge to count is unnecessary and simply stop counting. 

And similarly, in abstract terms. when does the difference between a "X" and a "Y" stop to exist - when the "pointing" stops.

The quote from Dr. Paul Brunton "We have yet to learn to be for we have already learnt to do" suddenly shows up in my mind presenting a whole other picture about when, how and where opposites are likely to meet!!